Wow… Goodness me, its been such an awfully long time since I posted anything.
So this is just going to be a quick update, to record the fact that I cried my eyes out today, and there are so many things that still make me sad. But I’m happy… I’m happy because I have xT.A., and that’s really all I need right now. A good friend, a little care, evanescent smiles and lingering kisses.
Thank you, baby, for being mine, in countless ways; my boyfriend, my exclusive and very classy whore, my personal cleaning lady, my best friend, my shopping list, my soul mate, my driving instructor, my long lost twin, my musical harmony, my gaming buddy, my alarm clock, my pillow, my taxi driver, my masterchef (bacon pancakes! LOL), my movie guide, my tissue paper, my heater, my teddy bear, my navigator/Google maps, my reality check, my reminder to be a responsible adult, my crazy stupid childish influence, my personal counsellor, my #1 fan, my protector, my self esteem booster, my supporter, my motivation, my reason to stay, my *insert so many kagillion billion godzillion more things here,* my everything…
Thank you, baby. I love you.
- Alanna signing off for now. Sleepy time for me (since xT.A is already fast asleep like a cutie pie). Good night, my dears.
(Sent from mobile)
P.S. You move around a lot in your sleep. Haha - hope it’s not ‘cause my typing is disturbing you. ;P
Just read her body. Take your time. Enjoy her scent, her shape. Take all of her in. Dont do it in the dark, you need to see her to truly appreciate her.
Start slowly, kiss your way down her body, soft wet kisses. Dot go straight for her nipples, eating pussy is all about how you treat the rest of the body too. Kiss her neck, nibble her ear, lightly lick her collar bones, see what she responds too. What her body tell you. Gently trace finger tips under the line of her breast, slowly build to her nipple. Lick it, tease it. Let the saliva drip from your mouth as your bite and suck.
When you do finally start making your way to her pussy dont just dig in. Tease her. Kiss the insides of her thighs. Up and down her folds. Lick her hips and mound. Dont touch inside her outer labia yet. Breath her in. Let her see how beautiful you find her.
Then lick her, One long lush lick, lap her whole vulva from bottom to top. Then dig in, do what you feel comfortable with, lap her, taste her, eat her. Dont point your tongue to much, it can hurt. Spread her open a little and flick a medium/soft tongue quickly over her clit.
Just enjoy every second of it. Drink up her juices. Eventually slip in a finger while you lick. If your tongue cramps use your neck to move your head up and down, dont stop. Ignore the pain. Push untill you think you are spent and then just keep eating.
C. H. R. I. S. I carefully typed the characters into my phone and hit enter. My phone, now unlocked, blinked up at me with its shining screen. I inspected the text message, reading each word slowly, absorbing all meaning and intent from the little black characters.
Such a short reply…
Somewhere in the back of my mind I wondered if something was wrong, but I quickly dismissed the thought. It was just like me to over worry about him, after all. Tapping out a brisk reply, I placed the phone back onto my nightstand and lay down on my bed once again.
My pillows still smelt of him, his lingering scent embedded into their tiny fibres, clouding them with a dream-like haze. Evidence of today’s events remained in the tangled fray of sheets, pouring into me bittersweet reminders of our evanescent time together. He had spent the whole day in my arms, and I in his, as our bodies wrapped effortlessly around each other, perched on my sweaty mattress and plumped pillows.
This morning, I had fallen in love with the way his hair hung limp across his forehead as his eyes peeped out from behind the tangled curtain of curly black strands; staring at me with such a gentle intensity that my insides melted and my heart ached. The way golden light beams from my window touched his face as he reached out his hand to touch mine. The warmth of his skin and the taste of his lips as we kissed and slept and lay there quietly.
This afternoon, I had fallen in love with his voice. The way his tongue wrapped around every syllable of every word and the way his words formed sentences far too perfect. His hiccupping squeaks as his voice cracked and the shyness of his tone reflected in his smile. His shortened breath and muted groans as our bodies danced in perfect synchronisation, moving in time to the thudding rhythm of our heartbeats.
This evening, I had fallen in love with the feeling of his presence and the warmth of his care, wrapped around me like cold fingers around steaming coffee mugs. I had fallen in love with the way he took his latte with no sugars, when he would much rather prefer the taste of two. I had taken such comfort in reading the love notes written in his eyes and the whispered smiles that filtered through the phone’s white noise.
I had fallen in love with the lovely perks and adorable quirks. The feeling of being loved, the places and things and our conversations. I loved all the little things - but I most certainly have never, ever, loved him.
I constantly feel so inspired to write and yet I can never conjure up the energy, time or motivation to do so. Instead I merely let the thoughts swim in mind-numbing circles until they dissolve into the sea and become lost to me.
… Fuck.
I shall endeavour to write down my musings and day-to-day thoughts on this blog more often. I also have an idea to write down little mini-short-stories and compile them into a book for xTina. It’ll be an insight into the mind of me - the strange grotesque world in which I internally dwell.
Good night, all.
I’m not beautiful, or pretty, or cute, or hot. Or even remotely attractive looking. I’m just “average”.
Also, apparently this girl is the prettiest girl he’s ever seen. 
I’ll admit she is quite pretty, but the prettiest girl ever? C’mon, are you fucking kidding me?
This is all just fucking with my head. All the lies about being “the most beautiful girl I know.” Sigh, I guess I know this post makes no sense, that I’m being really petty and that it really shouldn’t be such a big deal. But I guess it just hurts being un-beautiful. Sigh, I’ll get over it eventually. Besides, one day I’ll prove how beautiful I am. Maybe you just think I’m average looking because you’ve only ever seen my “just rolled out of bed” look. I never wear makeup, or pretty dresses, or even care how I look. But maybe one day I’ll wear the sexiest dress, killer heels, and some makeup. Then you’ll see, bitch.
